Cake Jokes / Recent Jokes

BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL: Why not ??
BOY: I'm broke.
BOY: May I hold your hand??
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY: What time was it??
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??
SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
Man: You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man: NO, because you make me sick.
Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out more...

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy
about Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for
Christmas. Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother.

See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all
done. See the children watch T. V. Watch children, watch. See the
children change their minds. See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look, look, Mother is not smiling. Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will
make robes. Mother will make shirts. Look. .. Mother put the
zipper in wrong. See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See
Mother cut the skirt too short. See Mother put the material away
until January. Look, look, see Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny,
funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy
candied pineapple and powdered sugar. See more...

BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...GIRL: Why not ?? BOY: I'm broke.BOY: May I hold your hand? GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night? BOY: What time was it? GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY: You love me...GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring? BOY: Sure, what's your phone number? GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever..BOY: Don't you ever want to improve? BOY: I love you and I could die for you! GIRL: How soon? SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss? TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.Man: You remind me of the sea.Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? Man: NO, because you make me sick.Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter? Peter: A bit of more...

Things that make me cringe!:
1. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no genitals.
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. The Norwich Life commercial where the old bastard answers the phone, says hello and then immediately tells his wife "It's Patrick! He bought life insurance!" Excuse me? how did Patrick find the time to tell you this? You barely breathed between "Hello" and It's Patrick". And why the hell do you have big sheets of bristol board and thick markers by the phone? Do you people play Pictionary over the phone often?
4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off! What good is a damn cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake Instead?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would more...

What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

Things that make me cringe!:1. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no genitals.2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.3. The Norwich Life commercial where the old bastard answers the phone, says hello and then immediately tells his wife "It's Patrick! He bought life insurance!" Excuse me? how did Patrick find the time to tell you this? You barely breathed between "Hello" and It's Patrick". And why the hell do you have big sheets of bristol board and thick markers by the phone? Do you people play Pictionary over the phone often? 4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off! What good is a damn cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake Instead? 5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after more...

One day there was a grandmother, her 2 grandaughters, and her grandson and they were baking a cake. And as they were baking the cake their grandmother accidently put bullets in the cake, but she said that it will be ok. And so they finished the cake and the grandchildren ate it and a couple hours later her first grandaughter came downstairs and told her grandmother that she had peed out a bullet. Then a couple minuets later her second grandaughter came down and said grandma grandma I peed out a bullet. Then her grandson came down a couple minuets later and said grandma grandma guess what. and his grandma said let me guess you peed out a bullet too. Then, the grandon said no, I was jacking off and i shot the dog.