Cake Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo mama's like...

- Yo mama's like a T. V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine... five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food... sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's more...

Betty and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he'd invited four friends from the office home for dinner on Friday.

Betty is a bit apprehensive as she asks if she must cook a meal for them all. Bob explains that there will actually be eight coming, as each has a spouse or date. Since this is her first party, he consoles her by saying that all she has to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake.

This sounds like a good idea, and they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get. Friday morning wife calls the office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six. Hubby says, "why don't you just double the recipe?" She decides that is a good idea. At four, hubby gets another phone call-this time quite frantic. "I just can't do it," wifely weeps. "It's impossible." "Now, now, what's the matter?" "Well, their recipe calls more...

A blonde was trying to bake a cake for her boyfriend's birthday. She went through six boxes of cake mix just trying to bake this cake.
She was very frustrated because every time she put the cake in the oven, the candles melted!

Theres a mother and a daughter walking in the park and the daughter sees to tenagers having sex
The daughter goes to the mother and says: what r they doing mummy?
So mummy says there making cakes.
The morning after the daughter goes to the mother and says: u and daddy were making cakes last night, werent u?
And the mum goes: how do u no?
So the daughter says: coz i was licking the icing from the sofa.

Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too." Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people who've lost something say, "It'll probably be in the last place
I look." Of course it is! Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it?
5. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's more...

BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL: Why not ??
BOY: I'm broke. BOY: May I hold your hand??
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY: What time was it? GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me... GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number? GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve? BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon? SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. Man: You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man: NO, because you make me sick. Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. Mary: John says I'm more...