Cannibal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two cannibals, wandering around in the desert for days without food, hungry and desolate, all of a sudden, to their delight, they stumble upon a dead human carcass, pristine from any scavenger, so the two cannibals sink their teeth into the dead human flesh, tearing it apart, one starting from the head and one from the toes.
After a few minutes of eating, the guy at the head yells to the cannibal at the bottom, "hey, how is it going down there?"
The cannibal at the bottom says "this is great, I'm having a ball.
The guy at the top says slow down and enjoy it, you're eating too damn fast."
Cannibal Boy: Ive brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and well have him tomorrow.
A cannibal took his young son for a walk in the jungle. They came across a beautiful, naked girl lying asleep on the ground. The boy got excited and said, "Let's eat her now, Dad!"
But the father said, "No, I have a better idea. Let's bring her home and eat your mother."
A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains for dinner. She saw that American and British brains were $4.95 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. "No ma`m," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price." "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains?" replied the butcher.
A cannibal went to a brain store one day because he was craving brains. he decided he wanted to try a musician's brains to see if they taste any different.
He looked around and saw the prices.
Trumpet Brains-$25.00/pound
Trombone Brains-$1.00/pound
Percussion Brains- 10.00/pound
Tuba Brains-$0.50/pound
Colorguard Brains-$0.25/pound
Clairinet Brains-$1000.00/pound
Flute Brains-$0.50/pound
So the cannibal turned and saw a man that worked there. He said to the guy:
"Why are the clarinet brains so expensive?"
The man replied "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CLAIRINET PLAYERS YOU HAVE TO KILL TO GET ONE POUND OF BRAINS?"
Two cannibals meet one day... The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The reply, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal replies, "No wonder--those are fryers!"
An African hunter wandered into a cannibal village and saw a menu quoting price of $5 for Italians, $10 for Irishmen, $15 for Germans, $20 for Frenchmen and $100 for hillbillies.
The hunter told the cannibal chief prices were way too high for hillbillies.
"Oh yeah," said the chief, "you ever try to clean one of them?"