Canoe Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal. He asks, "My God more...

A Frenchman an Englishman and a Scotsman were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief came to them and said the bad news is now that we've caught you were going to kill you and then we will use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is you get to choose how you will die.

The French man says I take ze poison...

The chief gives him some poison and the Frenchman says: "Viva la France" and drinks it down.

The English man says "a pistol for me please" the chief gives him a pistol and he points it at his head, says, "God save the Queen" and blows his brains out....

The Scotsman Yorker says "give me a fork" the chief is puzzled but shrugs and gives him the fork... The Scot takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over his stomach and chest and sides. .everywhere.

There is blood gushing out all over. Its horrible... The chief is appalled and screams "what are you more...

on fine day, a blond is rowing her new canoe in a corn field. She does this for about an hour, until the blonde owner of the corn field pulls up in her car, and says
"
hey, this is my field, get out."
"
If I could swim I would go over there and kick your ass!"

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die. ”
The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword. ” The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France! ” and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please. ” The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, “God save the queen! ” and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork! ” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over–the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, “My God, what are more...

So what`s the difference between a Norwegian and a canoe? Well, a canoe will sometimes tip.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now weve caught you and were going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then were going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, its horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, more...

This one blonde is driving down the street and she sees this other blonde a canoe in a corn field. The blonde in the car jumps out and yells at the blonde in the canoe.
She says "What the hell are you doing? It's blondes like you that make us blondes look stupid. If I knew how to swim I'd come over there and kick your ass!"