Carton Jokes / Recent Jokes

* You recycle your own toilet paper * Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad * You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants. * You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate." * Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore." * The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire. * Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck. * You hunt from your bedroom window. * Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade. * You refrigerate your food stamps. * You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill. * You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween. * Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk. * You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives. * You go to your local ice cream store and order more...

Milk drinkers' behaviors / The Physics of Law...
Not a bunch of goody-goodies, the folks at the California Milk Processor Board want you to think raunchy, think wanton, think naughty, think milk. A survey for June, National Dairy Month, reports hidden milk drinkers' behaviors: When no one is looking, 59 percent of Californians admit to slugging directly from the carton. A sheepish 31 percent have finished the last of the milk and put the empty carton back in the refrigerator. An embarrassed 39 percent report that they have, on occasion, blown milk out their noses. While a co-worker slaves away at his desk, 22 percent have "borrowed" someone else's milk from the office refirgerator. A smug 14 percent say that they have made milk a part of their sex lives. Which leaves 86 percent wondering how the heck they do it. The article continues with....
The Physics of Law...
It's not whether you win or lose, it's where you put your desk. The Association of Defense more...

The following comes from the "Denver Post Wire Services" under the heading of "Dairy board survey hardly depicts Milquetoast image"...
Not a bunch of goody-goodies, the folks at the California Milk Processor Board want you to think raunchy, think wanton, think naughty, think milk. A survey for June, National Dairy Month, reports hidden milk drinkers' behaviors:
When no one is looking, 59 percent of Californians admit to slugging directly from the carton.
A sheepish 31 percent have finished the last of the milk and put the empty carton back in the refrigerator.
An embarrassed 39 percent report that they have, on occasion, blown milk out their noses.
While a co-worker slaves away at his desk, 22 percent have "borrowed" someone else's milk from the office refirgerator.
A smug 14 percent say that they have made milk a part of their sex lives. Which leaves 86 percent wondering how the heck they do it.
The article continues more...

Disclaimer:

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Sell before date stamped on carton. Do not purchase if seal has been tampered with. Contents under pressure. Void where prohibited or taxed. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Some settling of contents may occur during shipping. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times approximate. more...