Cave Jokes / Recent Jokes

there were three one centimeter men so thin that you could almost see through them. They were looking for a good home when they came along a nice tall woman.
They all three climbed on. The first one said, hey guys i found a nice yellow sticky cave i think ill live here! The next one said hey i found a nice warm green lumpy cave i think ill live here! The next one said hey i found a nice warm forest the only thing wrong with it is that theres a bald guy spitting at me!!!

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let''s fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We''re new here," says the second one. "It''s dark out, and we don''t know where to look. We''d better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, "I didn''t."

There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!

There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave.She was ugly as shitand missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.
"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."

One evening two vampire bats were hanging out in their cave. One said, "Man, I'm starving! I need to get some blood!" And he flew out of the cave.
He returned about three hours later with blood dripping from his mouth.
"Where'd you get the blood?" the other bat
asked.
"Well, you fly out of the cave, and you see the first tree on the left?"
"Yes," the other bat replied.
"Well, I didn't."