Cell Jokes / Recent Jokes
Cell phones are also the only thing about which men sit around and brag who's got the smallest.
There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test." We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her." The englishman grabbed the gun. "Man I hate that bitch. She is going to get it good." He walked off into the cell and was in there for about a minute. There was just silence. He came out crying, "We've been maried too long. I just cant do it." So he was booted out. The frenchman grabbed the gun. "If I must, I must." He went into his wifes cell for about a minute and there was silence. He came walking out crying, "I love her too much. I just can't do it." So he was booted out. So the ukranian grabbed the gun and stormed into his wifes cell. "That more...
A new prisoner walking into prison for the first time was heading towards his cell, when someone called out' '15''. and quite a few men started laughing. The new prisoner thought to himself they aren't too smart I am older than 15, walking out on further someone called out' '24'' and place just went wild with all the guys laughing so hard.
So the prisoner walks on thinking these guys really don't know how old I am....when someone yelled out' '35'' and the place just went ballistic. Finally the prisoner made it too his cell and asked his new roomie what the calling of numbers meant.
''Well'' said the roomie' 'we have all been here so long, and have heard the same jokes so many times that we have just numbered the jokes.''
''Hmm mind if I give it a try?'' said the newbie.
Newbie steps up to the bars and yells' '27'' and it is quiet. newbie looks around and yells' '31'' and again quiet and finally he yells' '46'' and again quiet. newbie steps more...
It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with hismeager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of hiscell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block eruptedinto laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. Athird voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didnt know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall."Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door."Whats going on, here?" asked Rocky."Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library theres only onejoke book. Weve all read the book so many times that we dont waste timetelling the joke, we just call out its number."So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r theyellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. more...
A pedestrian apparently absorbed in a cell phone call was struck and killed by an Amtrak train in San Leandro today after he walked around a lowered crossing gate and onto the tracks, authorities said.
The train's conductor apologized for not hitting the brakes sooner. He recognized it was the same jerk that yammered on forever on his cell phone at the movie theater the night before.
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston
One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone in lap, brick on
accelerator: California*
* with gun also in lap: L.A.
Both hands on top of wheel, one foot on brake, watching pedestrians
cross against the light: San Francisco
One hand on the wheel, one hand drumming (with drum stick) on the
dash board, Lap top on top of the Dashboard, left foot tapping, right
foot on the accelerator, head bobbing from side to side: Silicon
Valley, listening to KEZR
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
terror: Ohio, but driving in Boston.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
Both hands praying to Gates, knee on wheel, cradling cell phone in
lap, foot on brake, mind more...
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out? Through the doorway - there were no doors remember!