Cent Jokes / Recent Jokes
A general, a colonel and a major were having a heated argument on the subject of sex. The general maintained that sex was 60 per cent work and 40 per cent fun. The colonel said it was 75 per cent work and 25 per cent fun. The major thought it was 90 per cent work and 10 per cent fun. At the height of the argument, a private appeared at the door.
"Let's leave it to him," said the major.
The private listened carefully and said with an air of absolute finality, "If you will pardon me, Sirs, sex is 100 per cent fun and no work at all."
"How do you figure that?" cried the astonished officers.
"It is very simple," said the private. "If there was any work in it at all, you guys would have me doing it for you."
Q: What did 50 cent say to his grandmother who gave him a sweater?
A: G-U-NIT
1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by sausage sizzle.4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or, just conceivably, a wharfie.5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves. Or really stinky sand shoes.7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate.8. All our best heroes are losers.9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in more...