Cent Jokes / Recent Jokes
50 Cent has a business-centered reality show on MTV. Some of it is based on book smarts, but most is based on common sent.
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"ONE CENT - that's awesome!" exclaimed the guy.
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with the works?"
"Certainly, sir, "replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"4 cents," replies the bartender.
"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy...
"Where's the Guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies...
"Same as I'm doing to his business!"
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT - that's awesome!" exclaimed the guy.
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with the works?"
"Certainly, sir, "replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents," replies the bartender.
"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy... "Where's the Guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies... "Same as I'm doing to his business!"
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT - that's awesome!" exclaimed the guy.So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with the works?""Certainly, sir, "replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents," replies the bartender."FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy... "Where's the Guy who owns this place?"The bartender replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"The bartender replies... "Same as I'm doing to his business!"
(From an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail:)
Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada Ltd.
of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan. The
company noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5 per cent
defects (a fairly high standard in North America at the time).
The Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged separately in
plastic. The accompanying letter said: "We don't know why you want
1.5 per cent defective parts, but for your convenience, we've packed
them separately."
A PROFESSOR who was crossing a river asked the rustic boatman,' Do you read and write?'
'No, I don't,' the boatman replied.
'Then you're missing 40 per cent of the interest in life,' said the professor.' Do you listen to music?'
'No said the boatman.
'Then you're missing another 20 per cent in life said the professor.
A huge wave came up causing the boat to capsize, but the boatman was able to retrieve it and pull the professor out of the water.
'Do you swim?' the boatman asked.
'No, I don't,' said the professor.
'Then you might have lost 100 per cent of your life said the boatman.