Chained Jokes / Recent Jokes

A writer dies and reaches the Golden Gates where God gives him a choice to either go to Heaven or Hell. He finds it difficult to make up his mind so he asks God if he can have a little tour of both places.
God agrees and they first go to Hell where the writer sees rows and rows of writers, chained to their desks in an overheated room, being whipped if they stopped writing for a second by merciless editors and publishers. This really frightens the writer who then proceeds to Heaven hoping it'll be better.
In Heaven too he sees rows of writers, chained to their desks in an over heated room, being whipped mercilessly.
So he turns to God and says, "But they're both the same!"
To which God replies, "Oh no. Here in Heaven your work gets published!"

A writer dies and reaches the Golden Gates where God gives him a choice to either go to Heaven or Hell. He finds it difficult to make up his mind so he asks God if he can have a little tour of both places.God agrees and they first go to Hell where the writer sees rows and rows of writers, chained to their desks in an overheated room, being whipped if they stopped writing for a second by merciless editors and publishers. This really frightens the writer who then proceeds to Heaven hoping it'll be better.In Heaven too he sees rows of writers, chained to their desks in an over heated room, being whipped mercilessly.So he turns to God and says, "But they're both the same!"To which God replies, "Oh no. Here in Heaven your work gets published!"

Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes them saying "you can do as you please in Heaven, just don't step on any ducks." The women are puzzled but proceed into Heaven. Looking around, they notice there are ducks everywhere. In a matter of minutes, one of the women steps on a duck. Saint Peter walks up to the woman with a hideously ugly man. Saint Peter shackles the man and the woman together and says, "for stepping on a duck, you have to spend eternity chained to this ugly man." The other two women are shocked but go about their business until, sure enough, another woman steps on a duck. Immediately Saint Peter comes and shackles her to another ugly man. The last woman tries desperately to not step on a duck. After a few months of not stepping on any ducks, Saint Peter walks up to the woman accompanied by a stunningly handsome man. He shackles the woman to the man and after a while, the woman being more...

There were three drunk guys and they got in a car accident. They go to heaven and plead god for a second chance. God says, "Alright, but don't step on a duck. The drunks reply, "Why ducks?" God repeats, "Just don't step on a duck." The drunks agree and go back down to earth. A few weeks go by, and the first steps on a duck. Instantly, he's chained to the ugliest woman in the world. A month goes by and the second steps on a duck. The last of them is laughing at the others and is instantly chained to the most beautiful woman in the world. He says, "God, what did I do for this?" The girl says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

A blonde, brunet, and red head all went to heaven. When they entered the one rule for them to follow was to never step on a duck. Well the problem was that there was ducks everywhere. If you did step on a duck then you were chained to the uglyiest man in heaven. Well one day sure enough the blonde steps on a duck and she is chained to the uglyiest man in heaven. Well the brunet and the red head are getting along good. But one day the brunet steps on a duck and is chained to the second uglyiest man in heaven. Well after that the red head is espicially carefull and she never does step on a duck. But one day sudenly a very handsome man is chained to her and she asks what did I do to get such a privalige? And the man says I steped on a duck.