Champagne Jokes / Recent Jokes

On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all thatexpensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into theempty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. He screamed to his wife, "Linda-Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?"

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had more...

Mike is causing trouble and Ajit and Robert are discussing it. Robert: Bass! !! Mike humein jeene nahin dega! ! Ajit: Koi Baat Nahin, Robert, Usey CHAMPAGNE mein bhigo do, SHAME usey jeene nahin dega aur PAIN usey marney nahin dega... ha ha ha

This is the latest joke doing the rounds in Frankfurt, since East and West Germany were united. A Frenchman, a Scotsman, a West German and an East German met in a restaurant to celebrate. The Frenchman ordered a bottle of champagne and poured it out to his friends. The bottle was only half-empty when he tossed it out of the window. "Why did you do that?" asked the others. "Not to worry," replied the Frenchman "we have plenty of champagne in France and can afford to waste some."
The Scotsman ordered a bottle of premium brand Scotch and filled four glasses. Following the Frenchman's example, he tossed the bottle, still half-full, out of the window. "Why did you do that?" asked his companions. "Not to worry," replied the Scotsman, "there is plenty of Scotch available in my country. Wasting some doesn't make much difference."
It was the turn of the West German. He didn't know what to offer his friends. So he picked up more...

On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home.Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight.When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all thatexpensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into theempty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much.He screamed to his wife, "Linda-Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?"

These Radio Armenia jokes were told to me by a friend who says
that he heard them when he lived in Russia for a summer.
The call in question show on Radio Armenia often has to deal with
some tough questions.
Q: What is champagne?
A: Radio Armenia is pleased to inform you that champagne is a wonderfully
delicious alcoholic beverage which is consumed by the working people
through their elected representatives.
Jeff Goldberg