Cheney Jokes / Recent Jokes
Cheney believes that anyone should have the freedom to marry. It makes sense that Cheney would be a strong proponent of marriage since he also believes in waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and other forms of torture.
Dick Cheney made an appearance at the Pepsi 400 Nascar Race on Saturday. After his plane, Air Force II, buzzed the crowd at 1000 feet, Cheney thanked the crowd for being easily distracted by loud cars and big planes. He then promised the 100,000 semi-retarded rednecks in attendance more shiny objects in the next two years, as well as plenty of f*gs and liberals to hate.
Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday disputed former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan's portrayal of the Bush administration's economic policies as fiscally reckless. Cheney demanded that Greenspan drop the word'fiscally' from his comment.
BUSH LEGAL TEAM SUES SANTA CLAUS By S. Artist Reuters
AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It`s totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, more...
“The New York Times says Ralph Nader is thinking of running for president again. We couldn’t be more excited. … Nader says he rejects the term spoiler. It’s a lot better than loser. ” –Jay Leno
“They’re getting ready to unveil President Bush’s presidential library. The committee in charge of President Bush’s presidential library said they want the building to reflect the spirit of the Bush presidency. So they said, ‘In other words, we’re just gonna build some stuff and see what happens. ’” –Conan O’Brien
“You remember Dick Cheney, he’s the vice president of the United States. He shot an old man in the face and didn’t tell anybody. Eventually, the news got out. Turned out the old man was fine. It was a hilarious story, and the old man ended up doing the right thing [on screen: atty Harry Whittington apologizing to Cheney’s family for the amount of media coverage]. At the time we all thought, ‘My God, how do you shoot an old man in the more...
During an appearance on Sunday's Meet the Press, Vice-President Joe Biden said that Dick Cheney's a fine fellow who's entitled to his own opinion, but he's not entitled to rewrite history. Viewers were absolutely stunned when they heard fine, fellow, and Dick Cheney in the same sentence.
George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me."
Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I`ll prove it to you."
Now Cheney, to patronize George W, took him outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I`m home," said Cheney.
The cab driver without saying a word drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied George W. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."