Chest Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wife tells her husband that she wants a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.
"Ha," snorted her husband. "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you grow hair on your chest!"
On hearing that, she hiked up her dress, pulled down her panties and thrust her pubic area forward. "There," she snapped, "I have hair on my chest. Now buy me a fur coat!"
"Silly woman, that's not your chest," he snapped back.
"Damn right it's my chest," she argued. "Before we married, it was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure chest. Since then, it has become our family chest... and if you don't buy me a fur coat, it will soon be the COMMUNITY CHEST!"

A man was traveling through the jungle for days growing tired he passes by a house and decides to ask if they could put him up for the night. After knocking on the door an old Chinese guy with a beard that reached the floor answers.

The man asked him if he could stay the night and the Chinese guy agreed as long as he didn't screw his granddaughter. Before the guy could agree the old man warned him that if he did he would perform the three greatest Chinese tortures on him.

The guy says o. k. and the man lets him in. When it was time for dinner the man meets the granddaughter and she is the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

So after he figured the old man was asleep he went into her room and made love to her. The next morning the man awoke with a 100lbs rock on his chest with a sign "first Chinese torture wake up with 100 pound rock on chest".

Being a strong man he thought nothing of it and picked up the rock and threw it out more...

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan." The girl gives her the fan, too.Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you have?"The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, more...

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo.
As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.
They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts,
But Hey!
He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around.
During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!"
The lion races over to him, places his paws on more...

Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin and very inexperienced around men. So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!." "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she more...

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the
doctor notices a red' H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your
chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud
of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue' Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud
of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green' M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do
you more...

There was a man walking through the forest in China. He came up on a old house he rang the door bell and an old man answered. The man told him that he was out lost in the jungle for 3 days and couldnt find away out of the forest, and he asked if he could stay there for a while.The old man argreed that he could if he didn't sleep with his grand daughter, because if he did there would be 3 of the worst chinese tortures inflicted upon him.So the old man took him upstairs to his room, but on the way the man caught a glimpse of the grand daughter naked and, with sure strive he made it to his room on the 2nd floor. About an hour later the grand daughter came in butt naked and they ended up sleeping together.When he woke the next mourning he found a rock on his chest under it was a card it read 1ST Chinese torture rock on chest. So the man picked up the rock and threw it out the window. Under the card he found another card which read 2nd Chinese torture left nutt tied to rock.So the man more...