Chevy Jokes

When I was a little boy, my family did not have a lot of money.
My father had a reasonably well paying job, but with four kids and
a dog, money was often tight. This is not to say that we were
deprived or unhappy. Our family did many activities together, but
our favorite was camping, which we did year-round, blazing heat or
freezing cold.
It was a great site to see the whole clan scrambling to get every-
thing together for a weekend trip. The whole family then piled
into our Chevy station wagon with a dog bigger than the three
smallest children put together. Dad would then tie down our
trusty tent to the top of the Chevy and off we would go.
Our tent was amazing in and of itself. It was an army surplus
tent, large enough for the whole family plus dog. It had survived
though rainstorms, snowstorms, and windstorms. It had twice been
uprooted from its stakes in high winds. (Makes me wonder why we
went camping in more...

City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency ExamName:____________________
Gang:________________________1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got more...

What did the Chevy sat to the Ford?Would you like a tow home?

You may or may not have heard of the Darwin Awards. It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
The following story suggests this year's leading contender:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his more...

File description: This high school math exam gives you insight into life in a crime-filled society.
City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name:____________________
Gang:________________________
1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has more...