Chorus Jokes / Recent Jokes

Battle Hymn Of Term Finals
(Sung to The Battle Hymn Of The Republic) Mine eyes have seen the horror
Of the ending of the term
It has poisoned all my spirits
Like an apple with a worm
It's infected all my freedom
Like an ugly cancer germ
The truth shall soon be known. Chorus:
Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known. I have listened to the teachers
But the homework leaves me cold
I have never done assignments
Although many times been told
I have even missed my classes
When I was feeling bold
The truth shall soon be known Chorus:
Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known. They are adding all my points up
And I haven't earned but few
In fact, I haven't even gotten
More than one or two
Oh, if I could only find an more...

Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!

CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
She'd been listening to the radio
and she nearly lost her breath
yellin' cuss words at the DJ
for playin' that song where she gets hooved to death.
So she set out on the warpath
there was evil in her eye
she said "I'm gonna find that reindeer
and by golly, one of us is gonna die!"
CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
Santa Claus had made a landing
on the new expressway
Grandma was doin' 120
with her headlights pointed straight at Santa's sleigh.
'Twas an awful sound of impact
Grandma really nailed him good
There were hoofprints on her windshield
and a pair of ripped-off antlers on her more...

Jingle bells, Shopping bells, jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to go shopping everyday.
Candy store, five and ten, sports shop after that,
Toys for all the kiddies and don't forget the cat.

Dashing thru the crowds, people everywhere,
Up and down the aisles, sneezing in my hair.
There's so much to choose, there's so much to see.
Wonder if what I got you cost more'n what you got me.
Chorus
Shopping Bells, Jingle Bells, will they never stop,
I've been shopping all week long and I'm about to drop.
Ring them bells somewhere else far away from here,
Ain't it really lucky Christmas comes but once a year?
Verse
Wrap your presents nice, Pretty bows that shine,
Take them out to mail, You're gonna wait in line.
Find your way back home, and if you're like me,
Maybe on the twenty-fourth, You'll get to trim the tree.
Chorus
Jingle Bells, Shopping Bells, Jingle dear Saint Nick,
Got a more...

To be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"
Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old...