Chorus Jokes / Recent Jokes

CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
She'd been listening to the radio
and she nearly lost her breath
yellin' cuss words at the DJ
for playin' that song where she gets hooved to death.
So she set out on the warpath
there was evil in her eye
she said "I'm gonna find that reindeer
and by golly, one of us is gonna die!"
CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
Santa Claus had made a landing
on the new expressway
Grandma was doin' 120
with her headlights pointed straight at Santa's sleigh.
' Twas an awful sound of impact
Grandma really nailed him good
There were hoofprints on her windshield
and a pair of more...

Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is
ONE: Finding a Christmas tree.
****
TWO
----
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is my
[Husband]: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

THREE
------
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Inebriated man]: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

FOUR
-----
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Frustrated man]: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.
FIVE
-----
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

SIX
---
The sixth more...

Chorus
Jingle bells, Shopping bells, jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to go shopping everyday.
Candy store, five and ten, sports shop after that,
Toys for all the kiddies and don’t forget the cat.
Dashing thru the crowds, people everywhere,
Up and down the aisles, sneezing in my hair.
There’s so much to choose, there’s so much to see.
Wonder if what I got you cost more’n what you got me.
Chorus
Shopping Bells, Jingle Bells, will they never stop,
I’ve been shopping all week long and I’m about to drop.
Ring them bells somewhere else far away from here,
Ain’t it really lucky Christmas comes but once a year?
Verse
Wrap your presents nice, Pretty bows that shine,
Take them out to mail, You’re gonna wait in line.
Find your way back home, and if you’re like me,
Maybe on the twenty-fourth, You’ll get to trim the tree.
Chorus
Jingle Bells, Shopping Bells, Jingle dear more...

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and with drew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the chorus. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the chorus director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

Clone of My Own
(To the tune of "Home on the Range")

Oh, give me a clone,
With the genes like my own,
But convert my Y to an X.
And since she's like me,
It's a sure certainty,
That she'll think of nothing but sex.

(Chorus)

Clone, clone of my own,
Who's always eager to play,
Means we'll have great fun,
And I'll only need one,
So please get her started today.

As long as you're mixing,
Some genes could use fixing,
To make her the best she can be.
Blond hair and blue eyes,
And a skinnier size,
And an IQ a bit less than me.

(chorus)

Please send me my clone,
Just as soon as she's grown,
Past the virtual age of eighteen.
I'm tired of dating,
And eagerly waiting,
To make it on the cloning scene.

(chorus)

(sung to the tune of It's a Small World)
It's a world of Tribbles, a world of cheer
It's a world of wackos with pointed ears,
Punch a Klingon for fun,
Set your phaser on stun,
It's a Trek world after all!
(Chorus)
It's a Trek world after all!
Young and old fen heed the call!
Most with stories, some quite tall!
It's a Trek, Trek world!
It's a world at warp speed, a world of stars
Drinking saur'yan brandy in sleazy bars.
Captian Kirk gets around,
keeps two feet off the ground!
It's a Trek world after all!
(Repeat chorus)
It's a world of gangsters, a world of cats,
It's a world where "boogers" can fly like bats!
Hippies sing in the hall,
watch the crew blow up Vall,
It's a Trek world after all!
(Repeat chorus)
It's a world of logical, a cast gone grey,
though they fight for peace in the Starfleet way.
"It's a world just for me,"
says Gene more...

(Obviously sung to the tune of
the Battle Hymn of the Republic)


Mine eyes have seen the Teletubby
And his cutsey little purse.
He wears a purple outfit,
And, dear friends, what's even worse,
He doesn't scratch or spit or belch,
He doesn't even curse.
What kind of guy is he?

CHORUS
Tinky Winky is a fairy.
Moral Morons must be wary.
Ignorance like their's is scary.
And Tinky Winky's gay.

I have seen his little triangle
Where it sits upon his head,
And we all know it's a symbol
For the shame that can't be said.
Now we have to purge this danger
Or our little boys will wed
A wife whose name is Ed.

CHORUS

His defenders say his purse is nothing
But a magic little bag.
That's a cover-up, as we all know,
He's just a little fag!
We cannot let a Teletubby
Appear in purple drag,
Moron more...