Chorus Jokes / Recent Jokes
SYSTEM CRASH (to the tune of "The Monster Mash") I was working in the lab, late one nightWhen my eyes beheld an eerie sight, Some smoke from our VAX began to riseAnd suddenly, to my surprise... [chorus](There was a crash) There was a system crash(A mighty crash) I heard the disk heads smash(A system crash) It came down in a flash(There was a crash) A fatal system crash The lab manager then appeared from his room, Said: "I don't want to be a prophet of doom, But we had one like this just the other dayWhich blew up 4 megs and the SBA"[chorus] The system had just been booted, diagnosticshad all run through, When a power fluck made itall run amuck, then SCOTTY and IRVING blew tooSo we'd lost all our VAXes in less than one nightWhen a VP came in and said: "hey, that's all right, I'll loan you a Venus - here's what to doWhen you call up Support, tell them Gordon sent you...[chorus]
A CHAT WITH YOUR MOM
by Lou & Peter Berryman.
Oh the Pirates in there fetted galleons,
daggers in their skivies
With Infected Tattooed fingers
on a blunderbuss or two (BLUNDERBUSS = musket like gun)
Signs of scurvy in there eyes
and only mermaids on there minds.
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(CHORUS)
We sit down to have a chat
its F-word this and F-word that
I can't control how you young people
talk to one another
But I don't want to hear you use
that F-word with your mother
And the lumberjack from Kodiak (a city in Alaska)
Vacationing in Ancherage
Enchanged with their Pine-Tar Soup
and Caribou Shampoo
With seven weeks of backpay
in their airomatic woolens
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(REPEAT CHORUS)
There are Militant Survivalists
with gucci bandoleros
Taking tacky-kacki walkie-talkies
to the more...
To be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"
Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old......
To be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old. ..
This is seriously a sad sad song
that I dedicate to all the fellow FOBs passed away...
but we won't stop
cuz we can't stop.
uh-huh! FOB boy.
Yeah... this right here...
tell me why... goes out to all
the FOBs, that's lost someone
that they truly love... check it out
Seems like yesterday we were on the boat
Cross the pacific arrived up in Oak
so far from growing rice and corn for do'
unfortunate they got to know that
FOBs ain't always make it cross the seas
none of y'all FOBs did survive but me
even though y'all gone we still a FOB team
smuggle your family to fulfill your dreams
in the future when we cross the sea
gotta be more careful F-O-B
reminisce sometime, the hole in the boat they couldn't mend
tried to plug it up but it leaked again
tried to escape but the crates was sealed
heard all my friends cried out and squealed
give anything to hear half y'all breaths
I more...
LYRICS:
Simply take one word or phrase from each of the three columns below, in order to make one line. Repeat randomly four times. Repeat process again twice to make chorus. Repeat last line 17 times. Don't worry if they don't make sense.
Column 1Column 2Column 3
Move itTriple BeatThe City Streets
Get UpBody HeatYou'll be Humpin
Pump It UpFeel the BeatBefore the Night is Over
Get DownGet AroundShake your Meat
Shake itThe Joint Is JumpinBustin Loose
Pump the JamFeet are StompinDisco Heat
BACKBEAT:
Program a drum machine in neverending 4/4 time. Add occasional snare.
BODY:
Add monotonous bass in one key. Overlay with punchy sounding synth. Get previously unknown singer to talk the lyrics so as not to test the range of the vocal chords.
PRODUCTION:
Put above ingredients together on master tape. Press discs. Give the label a suitably techno-funk sounding name, like "Mixmastermeatbeaters". Sell 5 million copies to more...
"Puff the Fractal Dragon"
No plain fanfold paper could hold that fractal Puff - He grew so fast no plotting pack could shrink him far enough.
Compiles and simulations grew so quickly tame And swapped out all their data space when Puff pushed his stack frame.
Chorus:
Puff the fractal dragon was written in C, And frolicked while processes switched in mainframe memory. Puff the fractal dragon was written in C, And frolicked while processes switched in mainframe memory.
Puff, he grew so quickly, while others moved like snails And mini-Puffs would perch themselves on his gigantic tail. All the student hackers loved that fractal Puff But DCS did not like Puff, and finally said, "Enough!"
(chorus)
Puff used more resources than DCS could spare. The operator killed Puff's job - he didn't seem to care. A gloom fell on the hackers; it seemed to be the end, But Puff trapped the exception, and grew from naught again!
(chorus)