Circle Jokes / Recent Jokes
ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal more...
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The trucks driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her whats so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, "When you werent looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it is probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in the middle of the afternoon session.
Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.
Bowler's Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.
Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.
Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.
Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.
Coloured Clothing: what players wear in the hope that spectators will wear it too; also a useful way for the crowd to tell the difference between the batsmen and the bowlers.
Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.
Death: part of the innings in more...
Three Pastors met, a Nigerian Pastor, Ghanian Pastor and a Cameroonian Pastor. They were discussing what they did with offerings from the Church. The Nigerian Pastor said, after collecting offerings from the Church, he draws a circl, he stands in the middle of the circle, he throws the offerings (money) up, anyone that falls within the circle is for him, anyone that falls outside the circle is for God (Church). Ghanian pastor said, after collecting offerings, he draws a straight line, he throws the offering up, any one that falls on the right side is for him, anyone that falls on the left is for God. Tha Camerronian Pastor looks up and said, for him, after collecting the offerings, he looks up and throws the offering up anyone that falls back to the ground is for him, and anyone that stays up there is for God. How mean can a Money Pastor be!!!.
In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following ceremony:
They stood naked in a large circle, facing inward. A naked girl stood behind each of the men. A beautiful, naked girl did a sexy dance in the center of the circle.
As soon as all the men became aroused and developed erections, the girls behind them reached through between their legs, pulled their erect penises downward as much as they could, and then released them.
The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their bellies. This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity. . . . .
and that's why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok.
The Garda, a disagreeable sort, stops a local farmer on a minor infraction and proceeds to berate the poor man this way and that, dressing him down most unfairly. After the lecture, which the farmer takes well, the constable starts writing the poor man up. While he's writing, he keeps swattin' at flies circling his head.
"The circle flies botherin' ya, are they?" says the farmer.
"Why do ya call' em circle flies, old man?"
"We call' em that on the farm' cause we find' em flying around and around the harses' behinds." says the farmer.
"Are you callin' me a harse's arse?" snarls the Garda.
"Oh saints, no," protests the farmer. "T'wouldn't think of such a thing." And the Garda goes back to writing. "...kinda hard to fool the flies, though."
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control more...