Circle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Santa to pull over.
When Santa did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Santa, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"
He then went to Santa's car and cut up his leather seats.
When he turned around, Santa had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at Santa, he has a smile on his face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now Santa's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of petrol, pours it on her car and sets it on fired.
He turns around and Santa is laughing so hard he is about to more...

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept. The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept. The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. “You were speeding, ” the cop said. “I’m going to have to give you a ticket. ”
“Yep, ” the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
“These flies sure are terrible, ” the trooper complained.
“Yep, ” the farmer said. “Them are circle flies. ”
“What’s a circle fly? ”
“Them flies that circle a horse’s tail, ” answered the farmer. “Them are circle flies. ”
“You wouldn’t be calling me a horse’s butt, would you? ” the trooper angrily asked.
“Nope, I didn’t, ” the farmer replied. “But you just can’t fool them flies. ”

A blonde was driving in her brand new corvette. Two guys pull her over and tell her to get out of the car. They draw a circle and tell her if she moves out of the circle they will kill her.

They immediately begin to destroy her corvette. When they are all finished they find the blonde standing in the circle laughing. Stunned, they wonder why, and ask her.

She replies, "Because while you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle.

A blonde is pulled over by a truck driver. He asks her to step out of her car and she does. He thens draws a circle on the road with some chalk and tells her to stand in it, which she does.
He then proceeds to slash her seats and when he turns around, she's laughing. This really pisses him off, so he pulls out her stereo system. He turns around and she's still laughing.
More angered, he sets her car on fire. He turns around again and she's still laughing.
He starts yelling at her, "I just screwed you over by setting your car on fire and you're still laughing. Why?"
Giggling, she replies, "Because every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

During a traffic stop a police officer is swatting at a fly that is circling around his head, and blurts out what kind of dang fly is that anyhow.
The traffic offender replies, "that's a circle fly."
The officer replies that he's never heard of a "circle fly."
The offender replies circle flies are usually found circling around a horses @$$.
Enraged, the police officer says, "are you calling me a horses @$$?", to which the traffic offender replied, "no sir, but you can't fool a circle fly."

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...
__
/
\__/
O
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to
the 2nd boy) "Well, your honor I more...