Civil Jokes / Recent Jokes

Have you ever noticed that when you get your civil rigthts violated by the LAPD you get a beating while someone is video taping, whereas when you get your civil rights violated by the NYPD you just get shot dead?
What's up with that?
Season 7 now available on DVD.

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

What's the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer.A mechanical engineer builds bombs.
A civil engineer builds targets.

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Y'ALL -- noun. A more...

Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Y'ALL - noun. A degree of more...

Mexico City lawmakers have approved gay civil unions and the mayor is expected to sign the measure, the Associated Press just reported.
This is good news for long time life partners Speedy Gonzales and Slowpoke Rodriguez, who for years could not even share the same health plan.