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If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
Auto insurance wouldn''t be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctl, Alt, Delete " and start all over.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life got too noisy, you could just turn off the speakers.
To get even with neighbors, you'd turn up the Sound Blaster.
To get your daily exercise, just click on "Run".
If you needed a break from life, just click on "Suspend", then when you're ready to continue life you'd hit "any key".
To add/remove someone from your life, click on Settings and Control Panel.
If you misplaced your car keys, you'd click on "Find".
"Help" with the chores would be just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would simply use your retrieval diskette to recover from a crash.
In the mood for a pizza? Just click "Send Now" and a hot pizza would soon be on its way.
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you lose your car keys, click on "find".
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
You'd use your diskette to recover from a crash.
We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.
To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".
Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.
To undo a mistake, click on "back".
Is your wardrobe more...
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.When you loose your car keys, click on find."Help" with the chores is just a click away.Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
A man passed away and went to heaven. When the man arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here".
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked St. Peter what the deal was. Why are all these clocks here in heaven? St Peter replied, the clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Sam, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move. Click. The minute hand on Sam's clock moved one minute. Click. It moved another minute.Sam must be into closing a customer right now said St. Peter. The minute hand on his clock moves all day.
The man and St Peter continued more...
# Things I have learned from reading my junk e-mail:
1. Everything is absolutely free (or only shipping & handling).
2. I can become a millionaire overnight just by clicking here.
3. Hundreds of young beautiful cheerleaders are waiting to perform any sexual acts I wish performed on me (or my pets, or my farm animals) if I just click there.
4. I can have my penis size doubled, my breasts enlarged two cup sizes, my age reversed by 20 to 30 years. Just click here.
5. I can buy almost anything for practically nothing if I just click here.
6. I can see lovely lesbians cavort with each other.. virgins lose their virginity in front of my eyes or famous movie starlets do it with a hundred horny dwarfs... just click here and here.
7. I can purchase potions to enhance my sex life, restore my hair loss, make me irresistible to the opposite sex (or the same sex if preferred).. what else? click over yonder.
8. more...