Click Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write' click' and I wrote click'."

I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I click the square?" I said yes.
She then asked me, "Single click or double click?"

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: more...

An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. At the end of the trip, the Russian leader tells the African that in Russia they have a custom performed at farewells called "Russian Roulette" to demonstrate one's courage. The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger..... CLICK..... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest, and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.... CLICK..... empty.
The next year, the Russian visits the African country. At the end of the trip, the African tells his Russian peer that he was very impressed with "Russian Roulette" and that he has spent the last year devising an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door only to reappear a few minutes later smiling, and says, "Your turn."
The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the more...

Finally! A guaranteed way to make $$$ with your computer- no strings attached!

That's right! You can makes lots of $$$$$ using the simple method described below. There is no secret to this method, it has been around for hundreds of years - before computers even existed!

People have been making $$ this way for a long time - in fact, it is estimated that over $ 100 trillion has been made this way by hundreds of millions of people. Don't worry this is not complicated - everything is completely automated and you won't have to sink any money into it. Follow these simple steps and you are guaranteed to make $$$:

Take a look at the box below. Simply click your mouse cursor inside the box.



Now that your cursor is blinking inside the box, it is time to get to work:

* Hold down the shift button on your keyboard.
* While holding this button, locate the "4" key on the upper left-hand side of the keyboard.
* more...

A man passed away and went to Heaven. Upon arriving at the pearly gates, St. Peter said,' Come on in. I'll show you >around. I really think you'll like it here.' Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how Heaven looked, the man asked St. Peter,' what's the deal with all the clocks?' St. Peter replied,' they keep track of everybody on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time someone tells a lie, his clock moves forward one minute. For instance,this clock belongs to Sam, a used car salesman. If you watch it closely,it will move any second.' Click! The minute hand on Sam's clock moved forward one minute. Click! It moved forward another minute.' Sam must be closing on a deal right now,' said St. Peter.' The minute hand on his clock moves all day long.'

The man and St. Peter continued walking and soon came across a clock covered with more...

As he walked through the pearly gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and table clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "St. Peter, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"
St. Peter replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Sam, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move."
"Click." The minute hand on Sam's clock moved one minute. "Click." It moved another minute. "Sam must be into closing a customer right now," said St. Peter. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."
The man continues to look around. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That more...