Client Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer is talking to his client. He says, “I have some good news, and I have some bad news. ”
The client says, “I could use some good news. What is it? ”
“You ex-wife is not making you pay on future inheritance. The bad news is that she is marrying your father. ”

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
" Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that`s a bit steep, isn`t it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what`s your third question?" &

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. While still in the lounge I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very important client.

Being a forward type of guy, I approached Mr. Gates and introduced myself. I explained to him that I was conducting some very important business and how I would appreciate it if he could throw a quick "Hello George" at me when I was with my client. He agreed.

Ten minutes later while I was conversing with my client, felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates. I turned around and looked up at him. He said, "Hi George, what's happening?"

To which I replied, "F*%& off Gates, I'm in a meeting."

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. His lawyer argued, "Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years."
"Your Honor," the plaintiff's lawyer retored, "if this case is going to be judged by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over sixty years!"

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian.
His lawyer argued, "Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years."
"Your Honor," the plaintiff's lawyer retored, "if this case is going to be judged by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years!"

Sam, the private eye, was giving his curvesome client a report.
"I trailed your husband into four bars and a bachelor's apartment," he. said.
"Aha!" exclaimed the wife. "Go on, go on! What was he doing there?"
"Well, lady," Sam responded in an embarrassed tone, "near as I could make out, he was trailing you."