Cliff Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet.
He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something.
"HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? "HELP!"
He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice. "Jack, Jack, can you hear me?"
"Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!"
"I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?"
"Yes, but who are you, and where are you?"
"I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere."
"The Lord? You mean, GOD?"
"That's more...
There were three men named nick, mike, and james, they had to save there selfs by wishing for something after jumping off a cliff. the first one was nick and he jumped off and said out loud MARSHMELLOWS AND LOTS OF THEM! and he landed safely. the second one was mike he jumped and said PILLOWS AND LOTS OF THEM! and he landed safely. last was james but when he got to the edge he jumped off and saw the drop and he yelled HOLY SHIT! and landed safely in a pile of gold glowing shit.
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on.
The woman reporter shouted out "This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!". Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!".
So, both of the woman stared at the news waiting to know whats gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', i knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff."
And the blonde says "Well, i did too! But i never would have thought that the man would do it again!"
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on.
The woman reporter shouted out "This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!". Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!".
So, both of the women stared at the news waiting to know what's gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', I knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff."
And the blonde says "Well, I did too! But I never would have thought that the man would do it again!"
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman reporter shouted out "This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!". Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!". So, both of the woman stared at the news waiting to know whats gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', i knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff." And the blonde says "Well, i did too! But i never would have thought that the man would do it again!"
The Indian chief says to his son, "Son, you push-um outhouse off-um cliff?"
His son says, "No, me no push-um outhouse off-um cliff."
The chief says, "Son, me tell-um you story of Great White Father, George Washington. Many moons ago, when Great White Father was young boy, him chop-um down cherry tree. Him father ask-um,' Georgie, you chop-um down cherry tree?' George say-um,' Cannot tell-um lie, Father. Me chop-um down cherry tree.' Him father say,' Georgie bad, but Georgie honest, so you no get-um punishment.'
Now I ask-um you again... you push-um outhouse off-um cliff?"
His son says, "Yes, Father, me push-um outhouse off-um cliff."
The Chief proceeds to give-um big wuping to his son.
The son says, "Father, Great White Father tell truth and get-um off scott-free. I tell-um truth... why you give-um me big wuping?"
The Chief says, "Georgie's father not sit-um in cherry tree."