Coach Jokes / Recent Jokes

Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team." It's fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents." Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, "I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on sale days."

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said
"Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts"
Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me"
The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!"
Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can`t jump!"

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn`t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I`m blonde, I`m smart, I have a good job, and I`m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I`m blonde, I`m smart, I have a good job and I`m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn`t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct more...

The coach of an all Redneck football team entered the locker room before a game, looked at his star player and said, "Since you failed math, I'm not supposed to allow you to play, but we really need you in there. So, what I must do is ask you a math question and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed. Looking intently into the player's eyes, the coach asked, "Now concentrate... what is two plus two?"
Thinking for a moment, the player answered, "Four?"
Surprised and relieved that he got it right, the coach exclaimed, "Four?!?"
Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Aw, c'mon coach, give him another chance!"

USC coach Pete Carroll said that quarterback Mark Sanchez is not yet ready for the NFL. That's perfect, since he was drafted by the Jets.

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!"

And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.

The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.

The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

The Chicago Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo to be their new hitting coach. Jaramillo took the job because he likes a challenge, and felt world peace was just too easy.