Coffin Jokes / Recent Jokes
The company owner is dying and calls in his lawyer and his accountant.
The owner says, "I am dying and I want to take my money with me. At my funeral put these envelopes in my coffin."
So at the funeral, the lawyer and the accountant put the envelopes in the coffin. But, on the way home the lawyer felt bad and told the accountant that he had opened the envelope, found one hundred thousand in cash and had taken fifty thousand out. The lawyer had justified that as his fee, but now he felt bad.
The accountant responded, "How could you have disregarded a dying man's last request? How could you charge a fee of fifty percent? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Then, the lawyer reacted, "What did you do? You gave him all his money?"
The accountant replied, "Yes, I gave him all his money, but I left a personal cheque for the full amount"
Q: What do a condom and a coffin have in common
A: Both hold stiffs.
How many screws are there in a lesbian coffin?
None, its just tongue and groove
Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs, one's coming, one's going.
A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on main street when the door of the hearst flys open and the coffin falls out then speeds down main street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter. The lids pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin? "
A funeral procession was winding it's way to the cemetery on top of the hill outside town, when the hearse hit a bump.
The coffin was bumped loose, fell out onto the road and began sliding back toward town. (It was a steep hill) It slid faster and faster. Finally, it reached the town and was skidding its way down Main St.
Suddenly, at one intersection, the coffin hit a curb, flew onto the sidewalk, smashed through the front glass window of the pharmacy, and slammed up against the prescription counter.
The lid popped off, the corpse sat up and said.. "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
A funeral procession was winding it's way to the cemetery on top of the hill outside town, when the hearse hit a bump.The coffin was bumped loose, fell out onto the road and began sliding back toward town. (It was a steep hill) It slid faster and faster. Finally, it reached the town and was skidding its way down Main St.Suddenly, at one intersection, the coffin hit a curb, flew onto the sidewalk, smashed through the front glass window of the pharmacy, and slammed up against the prescription counter.The lid popped off, the corpse sat up and said.. "You got anything to stop this coffin?"