Coins Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him.
The man walks over and tThe Donkey "A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager on the side of the bar he notices a large jar filled with one pound coins the asks the bartender
"what do i have to do to win the money in that jar"
The bartender replies
"I have got my pet donkey out the back all you have to do is make him laugh and the money is yours"
So the man goes out the back and sure enough he makes the donkey wet with laughter.
the man emerges back into the bar
the bartender amazed asks
"how in gods name did you make the donkey laugh"
"now that would be telling" the man replied" and with more...

Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign
September 9, 2002 - Atlanta, USA
In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection leading into her downtown condo, and rear ended the driver in front of her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She continues to say that of the almost 2 years of living in that particular condominium complex, she had not once been behind someone who had made a full stop at the stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns' caused the accident. As a result, she is convinced that Mr. Thompson is directly responsible for the accident and should be held accountable for all incurred costs of repair to both vehicles. When reminded that it is the law to make a complete stop at a stop sign, her abrupt response was "I am quite capable of deciding when it is a more...

When the husband arrived home, his wife met him at the door sobbing. He asked her what was wrong.
"It's the pharmacist," she wailed. "He insulted me something awful on the phone this morning." Hearing this, the husband immediately headed downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist cut him off and said, "Please, just listen to my side of it."
"This morning my alarm didn't go off," the pharmacist began to explain, "so I was late getting up. Going without breakfast, I rushed out to my car only to realize I had locked the house with both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.
Then, driving a little too fast, I got pulled over and was given a speeding ticket. Later, about two blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally arrived at the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.
I opened the more...

The U.S. Mint hopes U.S. presidents can succeed where Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea failed as they release new dollar coins featuring George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.
The dollar coins featuring female figures were viewed as being worth only 70 cents.

An elderly and rich bania, mean in money matters, acquired a pretty young wife who was a spendthrift. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife the habit of saving. He presented her with a small tin box with a slit in its lid, locked it and put the key in his pocket.' Meyree Jaan/ he said to her,' every time you let me kiss you, I will put a five rupee coin into the box through this slit on top. At the end of the month I will unlock it. All the money in it will be yours to spend as you like.'
The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and her elderly husband was quite happy to part with five rupee coins for what he got in return.
At the end of the month, with a grand gesture he produced the key from his pocket and unlocked the box. What he saw did not please him because there were many ten and twenty rupee notes in the box.' Where did these come from?' he demanded angrily.' I've only been putting in five rupee coins.'
'Not everyone more...

This story I heard from a friend of mine. I hope you like it.
My happily married friend of 30 had a quick witted six year old named bobby. Rick, the father made a father-son outting out of going to the local market. Everytime they went, Rick would bring his son pick out a piece of candy, or snack.
Holloween came around, and all the stores put out those little bags of chocolate coins. So when Rick would go to the market, he let his son pick out any bag he wanted. The bag had mixed big and small chocolate coins covered in gold foil wrapping. When they got home, little Bobby would always share with his dad. And like any good father, Rick always took the small ones, and left the big ones for bobby.
So a few weeks had passed, and Rick made an early evening trip to the market, and bobby caught him out the door and begged and pleaded to tag along. When they got there, bobby went searching for his candy. When he passed the isle closest to the register, he caught a glimpse of what more...

A blonde was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out. She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket. She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar. A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her, he said' Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?'

She said,' Duh! I'm winning here!'