Commandment Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some bloopers of biblical proportions written by Sunday School students of both the Christian and Jewish persuasion:

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah`s wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.

Lot`s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.

Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get more...

What was the First Commandment?" Adam, eat my pussy."

We have all heard of the ten commandments. Well recently a new eleventh commandment was made. Just for President Clinton." Thou shalt not put thy rod in thy staff."

A father knelt with his son to hear his prayers. The three year old boy began in all seriousness: "Our Father who Art in Heaven, how do You know my name? And another four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."A teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, "Thou shall not kill."Newly assigned officers to a Naval Air Station are quite often "adopted" by a family. One such young officer, a Lieut Commander, kind-of became an Uncle to the family's only 4 year old daughter. One Sunday, he asked her what she had learned in Sunday School. She said she had learned all about the ten commanders, and that they more...

These are written by children and have not been retouched or corrected, poor spelling and all!

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (*admit* lol)
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.Soloman, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.The epistles were the wives of the apostles.Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one alot when I was a kid...wait...I still do!)
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton...Monica who?)
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is.)
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What...they launch their Depends at 'em?)
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and more...