Commands Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, "Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!" Blonde
Return the Dog "Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it more...

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.
He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet.
He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.
Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog.
It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.
He cuts off another leg.
Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.
Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet.
He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.
Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch.
So the scientist writes in his book...
Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

HUSBAND 1.0 There are alot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0
to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the
implications of this change...
For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled
to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, garbage disposal
and disc cleaning often with an accompanying increase in system
administration. This program can also be a drain on many resources and
demand constant attention. You will encounter an increased amount of
interrupts and error messages, while the program often cancels processes
without warning, very often crashing the system. In addition, Husband
1.0 often refuses to respond to your commands and frequently appears to
be running processes which you have not authorised. If this happens
alot, do not respond to any interactive requests from the program and
severely limit demand for extra bytes.
Every evening there will more...

EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift
EMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping
EMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes Simpler
EMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and Surreal
EMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate Sales
EMACS: Each Manual's Audience is Completely Stupified
EMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy Screen
EMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer Storage
EMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the System
EMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete Simplicity
EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe Alternative Civilizations Survive
EMACS: Egregious Managers Actively Court Stallman
EMACS: Esoteric Malleability Always Considered Silly
EMACS: Emacs Manuals Always Cause Senility
EMACS: Easily Maintained with the Assistance of Chemical Solutions
EMACS: Edwardian Manifestation of All Colonial Sins
EMACS: Extended Macros Are Considered Superfluous
EMACS: Every Mode Accelerates Creation of Software
EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe more...