Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do you clean a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!
One day in the convent the nuns had their morning prayer session. At the end of the prayer session the head nun stood up and addressed the rest of the nuns.
She said, "There was a man in the convent last night." 99 of the nuns go ohhh, and 1 of them goes hee hee hee.
The head nun goes on, "We found a condom in the garden." Again 99 of the nuns go ohhhh, 1 nun goes
hee hee hee.
The head nun continues "There was a hole in that condom." 99 nuns go hee hee hee, 1 nun goes ohhh.
There was a man having sex with a prostitute upstairs, when all of a sudden the
prostitute leaves to go to the bathroom. The man then thought it was all over and
threw his condom out the window of his house. When the prostitute comes back, she
would not have sex with him without the condom. So since he allready paid the woman
and that was his last condom he threw out, he goes outside to get it. To his surprize
a kid has his condom in his hand. The man said "hay kid thats my condom". In reply the
kid says "well I found it first so it's mine". The man says "I'll give you 25 cents for it".
The kid pauses but says "no give me 25 dollars for it". Since he allready paid the prostitute
300 dollars, he pays the kid 25 dollars for it. The Kid runs home and tells his mother of the
story but then says "I ripped the guy off, because I allready sucked the cream from it". --hee hee
I tolk you it was more...
NEW PRODUCT: MICROSOFT CONTRACEPTIVES
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of contraceptive'98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play.
It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive'98 suite consists of three products: Condom'98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package.
The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive'98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive'98 Small Business more...
What's the similarity between a bungee cord and a condom? If they break, you're screwed!
How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.