Congressman Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between a money launderer and a congressman?
Once in a while, the money launderer passes a few good bills.

Congressman Foley was bombarded by large marshmallows by men in pink uniforms as a teenager, it was revealed today. I knew something would snap eventually said a source who did not want to be identified. He has been carrying this around with him for a long long time. I think it’s sad about the pages but hopefully Congressman Foley can now get the help he needs.

Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" yells the Congressman.
"It's this abortion bill, Mr. Condit. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks.
"Just go ahead and pay it," responds the Congressman.

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then Im against it." "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then Im for it." "This is my final position, and I will not compromise!"

What is the most common motto for a congressman?
If they're too young to vote, fuck 'em.