Consider Jokes / Recent Jokes

* When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a “USA! USA! ” chant.
* When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn’t “play with the big boys, ” and that she will never get past mid-card status.
* When you search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
* If you can actually remember Sting’s last public words.
* If on a job application, you state your residence as “parts unknown. ”
* If you quit your Job because you have to find your “Smile. ”
* When you’re getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
* If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
* When you look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.
* When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
* When you rack your neighbor’s dog.
* When you attend a graduation, and yell “Ooooooh yeah! ” more...

Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives

We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven". You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Is your name Amazon? You're so wide at the mouth. You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it! A dope you are and dope will remain. Completely unlike cocaine. You add to, not diminish, pain! We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there? Your family tree is good, but you are the sap. We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up. Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

Hi Gigglers:
For the past two months I haven't had very much time to submit anything to the list, but today I made the time.
Today is Friday the thirteenth as you all know. It is a day where over 21 million Americans stay home due to superstition.
Superstition: n: beliefs or practices resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, or trust in magic or chance.
In Quebec, the number 13 is fifth on the list of superstsitions. Knocking on wood is number one.
The number 13 happens to be a number of luck. Whether good luck or bad luck depends on the person who beleives in its power. I heard today that Italians consider the number 13 as being good for luck and Americans consider it bad luck (at least most Americans do).
Until today, Friday the 13th has always been a day of good luck. This morning as I was scraping the ice off the windows of my car, a police car drove up beside my car on the street. He rolled down the window and asked me in French (being from Montreal) more...

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.