Cooler Jokes

The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over
after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like sh*t."

Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Universe
1. Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable.
2. Would not have needed huge effects budget for' Captain EO'.
3. In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son.
4. Could really walk on moons.
5. After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith.
6. Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of' Beat It'.
7. Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had.
8. Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic.
9. Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet
10. Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly.

An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.

He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the water cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied: "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."

An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."

A penguin is driving across the desert when the air conditioning goes out in his car. He rolls the windows down and keeps going until he comes to a service center along the highway. The penguin goes in and begs the mechanic to fix the air conditioning in the car before he dies from the heat. The penguin goes into the convenience store attached to the service center and spies an ice cream cooler in the back of the store. He immediately goes back, walks right into the cooler and closes the door behind him. An hour later he comes out with vanilla ice cream melting on his face and chest. The penguin leaves a twenty on the counter and returns to the service center to check on his car. As he approaches his car he asks the mechanic how things are going. "Well," says the mechanic, "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Oh no, that's just ice cream."