Corn Jokes / Recent Jokes

New mixed drinks contest winners
With no further ado, here the names are, in alphabetical
order. Which one do you think was THE winner?
Absolut Zero…………. Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen
Alexander the Grrreat…. Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes
American in Paris…….. Kentucky bourbon and champagne
Black Sabbath…………Kahlua and Mogen David wine
Blind Faith………….. Wood alcohol and sacramental wine
Blood Clot……………Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O
Bloody Awful…………. Vodka and ketchup
Blue Moon……………. Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva
Coleman Cooler……….. White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand
Fuzzy Naval Base………Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia
George Bush………….. George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer
Gorbachev……………. Vodka with a splash of port wine
Honeydew the Dishes……Midori and Dawn
Marie more...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a madding passion for Chile. He loved them, but he always has an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to it. Then one day, he met a young woman and fell in love with her. When evidently they would marry, he thought to himself, she is so sweet and gentle. She will never go for this kind of carrying on. Therefore, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the chile. They married thereafter. Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly cooked chile and corn bread was overwhelming.
Since he had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off the effects before reaching home. Therefore, he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving the cafe, he had eaten three LARGE orders of chile with corn bread. All the way home he farted and more...

By Tony Kornheiser, The Washington Post
Sunday, July 22, 2001
Just the other morning I was watching "The Today Show" when that hot tomato Katie Couric said something like, "Coming up: We're going to focus on the ongoing stem cell debate."
The ongoing stem cell debate?
Omigod, which side was I on, stems or cells?
Tragically, I not only didn't know a stem cell debate was raging all over America - I didn't even know what a "stem cell" was. Stems and seeds, yes. That rang a bell. ("Oh, we're down to stems and seeds again. Bummer.") But for stem cell, I was drawing a blank (see above).
So I opened the newspaper and began reading about stem cells. And there was all this stuff about "surplus embryos" and "frozen embryos."
And I said: Yikes! Check, please.
That's what Americans are talking about this summer, frozen embryos? Excuse me, what happened to frozen margaritas?
It's not like I don't think more...

From the ambush rule book issued to the sardar army:
"when passing through a thick forest cover your turban with leaves and twigs.
When passing through a corn field cover your turban with corn stalk.
When passing through a cabbage field, remove your turban. "