Cousin Jokes / Recent Jokes

A New York boy was being led through the swamps ofLouisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won'tattack you if you carry a flashlight?"The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast yacarry the flashlight."

Hi y'all... muh name id's Bubba and dis is muh fameily:

Furst is me... Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart alot.

My Mom has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day.

My brother Hank is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.

My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible.

My mom says she is almost positive this is who my Dad is. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are gonna go fishing. The blood stains inside my Dads truck are almost all gone!

My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was more...

Had a cousin once who was the town drunk. Not that unusual really, unless
you considered the fact that he lived in New York.

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, OBannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by."What are ye doing?" asked OBannon."Fishin," said MacAndrews."Caught anything?""Ach, nae a bite,""What are ye usin fer bait?""Worms""Let me see it," said OBannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. OBannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out."Have ye got a bite?" asked OBannon."No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worms got a salmon by the throat!"

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen." the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said, "all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said:' Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer'."

Two French brothers were in England, visiting long-lost relatives, their English cousins. Having high tea with Lady Windham, Pierre was making chit-chat: "Tell us about your children, dear cousin."
"Oh," said the Englishwoman, "alas, I have no children."
"I see," piped in Jean-Claude, "you are FRUITLESS."
Seeing the expression on Lady Windham's face, Pierre said, "I think that the proper term is UNBEARABLE."
"Non, non," corrected Jean-Claude, "I've got it now: she's IMPREGNABLE."
The lady winced, and Pierre said, "Perhaps the word we're looking for is INSURMOUNTABLE"
"Voila! I have it," exclaimed Jean-Claude, our dear cousin in INSCRUTABLE!"

Helping your cousin, Billy-Bob, move into his new place consists of taking the wheels off his doublewide.