Cream Jokes / Recent Jokes

Scientists have developed a cream that prevents sun damage in red-haired mice. In other news, there are red-haired mice.

A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn't smooth enough.

ane boy went to ashop of ice cream and asked the man who buys it 9do you have an ice cream with okra) then the man told him no then next day hecame and asked him the same question

An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." Then his wife asked him, "Dont you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" "No, I can remember that." "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had bett er write that down cause I know youll forget that," his wife more...

So there's this penguin driving across the Nullabour Plain (that's in Australia) and it's a *really* hot day - and that's bad news for a penguin.
So, the penguin is driving and saying "Sheesh" a lot and wiping his brow with his flipper then the car starts acting up! Bumpity bumpity bump...
"Oh great", thinks the penguin. To his relief, there is a service station not too far further along. He drives in, parks his car, hops out and waddles over to the mechanic.
"Can you have a look at my car?", says the penguin, "it's making a funny sound." "Sure" says the mechanic.
"Sheesh," thinks the penguin. "It's so hot!. I think I'll go inside to the air conditioning." So he waddles over and goes inside. He mooches around, flicking through magazines, killing time.
He decides he'll buy an ice cream to help him cool down. Then he goes back out to the car. "Sheesh," he says as he waddles back over the more...

And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them". And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly coloured sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.
And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained pounds.
And God said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth more...

Frequently, I get a strip of coupons or other
promotional items from a little printer at the
checkout of my local grocery.
Coupons emerge as a thank-you for purchasing a
product, or based on some other derived data.
Yesterday, after buying a couple pints of Ben &
Jerry's Ice Cream (my favorite bad-for-me snack
food), I got the following checkout coupons in
sequence:
Save 55c on Two(2) Pints Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream
Free High Cholesterol Survival Guide