Crime Jokes / Recent Jokes
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey, pop singer "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents The police are not here to create more...
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner!"- Lynda Montgomery"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." - Paul RodriguezAnd from George Carlin... If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If firefighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight? If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever? If all babies are cute why are there so many ugly people in the world? What's another word for thesaurus? If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, would you get a rash of good luck? Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him? When Dr. Kevorkian watches ER does he root against the more...
William Peterson is leaving the cast of "CSI" after nine years, or the approximate amount of time it actually takes to solve a crime in this country.
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Superman: "Hey Spidey, let's go get a burger and a beer!" Spidey: "No, Superman. I've got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Superman: "Hey, Batman! Let's go get a burger and a beer!" Batman: "Not today, my friend. My Bat Mobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his supervision does he see, but none other than Wonder Woman, lying on the deck, spread-eagle, stark-naked! Superman gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be like with all her Wonder Powers". So he zzoooooommms down and does her more...