Crumbs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but in
    recent years for some reason has fallen out of favor. Here we
    shall return to a true classic dish of alternative fine dining.
    The list of ingredients is as follows:
    1 reindeer, appx. 125-175 lbs., skinned, dressed (though not in a
    tux; ha, ha) and head mounted if you so desire.
    6-9 Christmas elves cleaned and finely diced, appx. 8 lbs. useable
    weight.
    8 lbs. celery, finely chopped.
    8 lbs. onions, finely chopped.
    8 lbs. carrots, finely diced.
    1 gallon vodka (to numb the elves before you peel them and dice
    them).
    32 lbs. dry bread crumbs.
    3 gallons chicken stock.
    salt, pepper, to taste.
    Fresh garlic, 1-6 lbs. as you desire.
    3-4 gallons of olive oil for basting the roasting reindeer.

    Preparation:
    Saute the onions, carrots, and celery in a large pan, using some
    olive oil, until tender.
    Brown the diced elves in the more...

    Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? To feed the toilet duck!

    This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but in recent years for some reason has fallen out of favor. Here we shall return to a true classic dish of alternative fine dining. The list of ingredients is as follows: 1 reindeer, appx. 125-175 lbs., skinned, dressed (though not in a tux; ha, ha) and head mounted if you so desire. 6-9 Christmas elves cleaned and finely diced, appx. 8 lbs. useable weight. 8 lbs. celery, finely chopped. 8 lbs. onions, finely chopped. 8 lbs. carrots, finely diced. 1 gallon vodka to numb the elves before you peel them and dice them. 32 lbs. dry bread crumbs. 3 gallons chicken stock. salt, pepper, to taste. Fresh garlic, 1-6 lbs. as you desire. 3-4 gallons of olive oil for basting the roasting reindeer. Saute' the onions, carrots, and celery ina large pan, using some olive oil, until tender.
    Brown the diced elves in the same pan until lightly browned. Mix the vegetables, elves, bread crumbs, and the chicken stock, season to taste with more...

    This is a REAL recipe for a rather tasty, but disgusting looking cake.



    Ingredients:



    1 18. 5-ounce package spice cake mix

    1 18. 5-ounce package white cake mix

    2 4-serving packages instant vanilla pudding mix

    1 12-ounce box vanilla wafer cookies, crushed

    6 to 10 Tootsie Rolls

    Confectioner's sugar

    1 brand-new kitty litter pan

    1 brand-new plastic pooper scooper

    Green food coloring

    Plastic flies (optional)



    Prepare the cakes and pudding according to package directions. Crumble the baked cake into the kitty litter pan, then add the pudding and mix. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of the cookie crumbs and set aside; mix the rest into the pan. Soften the Tootsie Rolls by placing in the micro- wave for 10 seconds on high and shape to resemble cat droppings. Arrange the Tootsie Rolls on top of the cookie-pudding more...

    Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. Instead, this coming Rosh Hashanah consider these options:
    For ordinary sins, use White Bread
    For exotic sins, French Bread
    For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
    For complex sins, Multi-grain
    For twisted sins, Pretzels
    For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes
    For sins of indecision, Waffles
    For sins committed in haste, Matzah
    For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes, Shmurah Matzah
    For sins of chutzpah, Fresh Bread
    For substance abuse, Poppy Seed
    For committing arson, Toast
    For committing auto theft, Caraway
    For being ill tempered, Sourdough
    For silliness, Nut Bread
    For not giving full value, Shortbread
    For jingoism, Yankee Doodles
    For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread
    For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread
    For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts
    For being money hungry, Enriched Bread more...

  • Recent Activity