Curfew Jokes

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast, and everybody had to be off the
streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.
"I know where he lives," came the reply, "and he wouldn't have made it."

THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEM
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects -sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings...+5 But return with beer...-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10
It's her father...-10
You leave the toilet seat up...-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when more...

THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEM
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it
is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she
dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing
something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed...+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the
decorative pillows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled
sheets...-1 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings...+5 But return with beer...-5 You check out a
suspicious noise at night...0 You check out a suspicious noise and
it's nothing...0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's
something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10 It's her
father...-10 You leave the toilet seat up...-5 You replace the
toilet-paper roll more...

A 10pm curfew was imposed in BelfastEverybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm."Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer."I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."

A 10pm curfew was imposed in BelfastEverybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9. 45pm." Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer." I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."