Cussing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!"
Still nothing... and the train was just seconds away!
He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and having sex with all the women I meet."
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself."

The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off.She goes bitching to Little Johnny's father. She comes toLittle Johnny's house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goatin the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father "Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now....now he's beingcarnal with a goat in the front yard!" Little Johnny's father goes running out the door yelling,"Son of a bitch! Today is my turn!"

THER WAS A 4 YEAR OLD AND A 6 YEAR OLD. THEY WOKE UP ONE MORNING AND THE 6 YEAR OLD SAID TO THE 4 YEAR OLD "WE NEED TO START CUSSING SO WHEN WE GO DOWNSTAIRS I WILL SAY SOMETHIG WITH HELL IN IT AND YOU SAY SOMETHING WITH ASS IN IT." LATER ON THEIR MOM ASKED "WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR BREAKFAST?" THE 6 YEAR OLD REPLIED "WELL HELL MOM I THINK I WILL HAVE SOME CHERIOS." THE MOM WHIPPED HIM AND SENT HIM TO HIS ROOM. SHE CAME BACK DOWN AND ASKED HER OTHER SON, HE SAID WELL YOU CAN BET YOUR FAT ASS IT AINT GONNA BE CHERIOS.