Dakota Jokes / Recent Jokes

ALABAMA:
Literacy Ain't Everything

ARKANSAS:
Exporters of Everything But Honesty

CALIFORNIA:
Se Habla Ingles

FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State

GEORGIA:
The Culture State: Jews and Negroes Allowed Since 1993

INDIANA:
Home of Dan Quayle

KANSAS:
Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole

KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

LOUISIANA:
I Drink, Therefore I Am

MARYLAND:
We're Better Than Virginia, Damn It!

MINNESOTA:
Land of 10,000 Lakes and a Lot of Really WHITE People

MISSOURI:
We're kinda to the west of Indiana and east of Kansas... and oh yeah we're right near Iowa!

MONTANA:
Only a few of us are nutbar freaks who build bombs and put them in the mail.

NEW JERSEY:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney

NEW YORK:
People say we're ambivalent and more...

Kansas: Toto isn't here anymore. Wisconsin: Wear cheese or die. Oklahoma: Rather Sooner than Later. Hawaii: Try our lei-away program. Mississippi: Elvis was born here, but heck, even he left. California: Hey, with this many of us, we can make it legal! New Jersey: Waste not... send it here instead. Nevada: Two to one you'll come again! Washington: If we'd meant DC, we'd have said DC, stupid. Massachusetts: Taxus Por Un Fortunat Bums. Tennessee: To stay here, you'd have to be a Volunteer! Alabama: At least you're not in Mississippi. Idaho: And don't even joke about the &%$#)%^ potatoes! West Virginia: Well, it sounded better than Eastern Ohio... Florida: Give me your sick, your old, your rich retirees... South Carolina: Settled by prisoners, what do you expect. North Carolina: Furniture out the wazoo. Maryland: The best place to get crabs. Nebraska: Not much to look at, but we sure have a lot of it. Alaska: Colder than a polar bear's patoot. South Dakota: To rent this space call more...

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Dumb South Dakota Laws
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
Spearfish
If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.
One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in North Dakota. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"
"What do I think?" his mother said. "Sign it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I can stand another Canadian winter!"

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old man. Above the old man was a sign that read, "$5.00 - If I can't tell you where you're from, I'll pay you $50.00!"
The young man watched a cowboy approach the old man and ask, "Is the sign right?"
The man says, "Yes." The cowboy hands him a five and says, "You're on!"
The old man looks the cowboy up and down, noticing some cow dung on his boots and flatly states, "You're from Wyoming."
The cowboy shakes his head and says, "I'll be darned! You're right!" and strolls away.
A second cowboy approaches the old man and goes through the same routine.
Handing him the fiver, he stands and watches as the old man looks him up and down and notices a bit of straw and cow dung on his boots. The old man says, "You're from Montana!"
The cowboy, dejected, walks away.
The young man decides he's going to give the old man a run for the money. He goes more...

During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dakota.
Dakota who?
Dakota is too long in the arms.