Dan Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that' harass' was one word.
Stan: Did you ever find your cat?
Dan: Yep, he was in the refrigerator.
Stan: Gosh, was he OK?
Dan: More than OK, he's a cool cat!
On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It’s not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I’m in a bad mood? ” – Vanna White, “Wheel of Fortune” co-star
On Standards, the Mega-Rich and: “I’d rather not talk about money. It’s kind of gross. ” – Barbra Streisand, dodging a question about what she was paid to direct and star in The Mirror Has Two Faces
On Disco Music, Importance of: “God had to create disco music so that I could be born and be successful. ” – Donna Summer, disco singer
On Giving It Your All: “I think we played hard, but it was a lackadaisical hard. ” – New Jersey Nets guard Otis Birdsong on why his team had lost an NBA contest
On Hostage-Taking, Fun For All: “[Being taken hostage is] an adventure for the tourist, because the tourist will end up learning about the customs of the tribes as well as their good hospitality. ” – Abdullah Ahmar, speaker of Yemeni more...
ALLEN GINSBURG VIRUS - Seemed to come from nowhere. Extremely virulent, yet ineffectual. Attempts to invade all file systems of worldwide media organizations at once. Generates copious, conflicting press reports via an advanced randomly-parsing syntax generator developed by California hackers. Frequently found to have infiltrated expensive Washington restaurants.
Anita Hill Virus - Lies dormant for ten years.
BARBARA BUSH VIRUS - One of the ugliest viruses we’ve seen in years, but
seems to have a nice disposition and does little damage.
Billy Graham Virus - When you save a file, it prints, “I am saved! ” to the screen.
Chicago Cubs Virus - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it!
COLIN POWELL VIRUS - Makes its presence known, but doesn’t do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS v 1. 0 - Thers sumthin rong wit yur kompueter, butt ewe jsut cant figyour out watt.
Dan Quayle more...
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood andBill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win? Dan Quayle. Hes the only one who knows that harass is one word.