Dashboard Jokes

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.
The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification.
When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.
"See that?" said the trucker.
The man said, "Yeah."
The trucker ask the man, "You want to try it?"
The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"

Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
So they can park in the handicapped zones.

Tom and Buck were shooting the bull in Tom's car.
Buck always admired Tom's success with women and asked him his secret. "See that design on the dashboard?" Tom replied "When I pick up a woman, she will eventually ask what it is. I tell her that the outer circle represents infinity--it has no beginning and no end. The inner circle represents the limitations we set for ourselves, and the dot in the center is mankind, confined within."
Buck, totally confused by the explanation of the circles, says "I still don't get it. How can that help you get laid?" "Easy. From a starting point like that, the conversation can get pretty philosophical. Women open right up, and next thing you know, you're making love to them."
Buck was still confused as hell about the concentric circles, but went home and painted them on his dashboard.
That night he managed to coax a young gal into his car for a ride. Sure enough, she inquired about the design more...

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard. After a few miles he asks the driver what the monkey is for. The driver says "I'll show you" and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash. The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker head. When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.
"See that" said the trucker.
The man said "Yeah".
The trucker ask the man "You want to try it?"
The man said "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"

How do you do so well with girls?" the frustrated sophomore asked his roommate.
"You've got to have a gimmick," the roommate responded. "For instance, I've painted a white circle on the dashboard of my car. My dates always ask about it. From there, I turn the conversation to white things in general, then to abstract white things, like virginity; and after that, it's easy to talk them into it."
"That sounds simple enough," the friend agreed. That evening, he painted a white circle on his dashboard before picking up his date.
"That's rather unique-to have a white circle painted on your dash," the girl said, soon after she got into the car.
"Yes, isn't it?" the young fellow replied. "Do you want to screw?"