Morry Jokes

The fast
One Yom Kippur during the break after shacharis and before mincha, Rabbi Menzies sees a very worried looking Morry Schwartz walking towards him. His face is white and his eyes are bloodshot. He stands in front of the Rabbi, sweating and out of breath.
"Please Rabbi," he says, "I must have a drink of water. I`m so thirsty and dry. I can’t stand it any more."
Rabbi Menzies is astonished and replies, "Don`t you realise what you are asking? Today is Yom Kippur, when we fast and beg for forgiveness, and you come to me and tell me that want to drink and break your fast? Be strong and do not give in!"
Morry is in tears, "Please Rabbi, just a small drink. I can`t take it anymore!"
But Rabbi Menzies is not an unkind man, and is touched by Morry’s suffering. He thinks for a while and says "Alright." He calls over the shammes, "give Morry a teaspoon of water."
The teaspoon of water is given to more...

Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to Hendon. His own car was off the road being serviced. "Sure," said Morry, "I'll give you a lift. My Rolls Royce is just outside." As they're driving along, Moshe says, "Morry, what's that thing on the dashboard ticking all the time?" "That's my digital clock." A few minutes later, Moshe asks, "And what's that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?" "That's my tachometer," says Morry. Then a few minutes after that, Moshe starts to ask, "But what's that...." "Hold on a minute, Moshe," says Morry, "I can see you've never been in a Rolls Royce before." "Never in the front seat." says Moshe.

The car ride
Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to Hendon. His own car was off the road being serviced.
"Sure," said Morry, "I`ll give you a lift. My Rolls Royce is just outside."
As they`re driving along, Moshe says, "Morry, what`s that thing on the dashboard ticking all the time?"
"That`s my digital clock."
A few minutes later, Moshe asks, "And what`s that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?"
"That`s my tachometer," says Morry.
Then a few minutes after that, Moshe starts to ask, "But what`s that...."
"Hold on a minute, Moshe," says Morry, "I can see you`ve never been in a Rolls Royce before."
"Never in the front seat." says Moshe.