Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes
Then there was the chap who was engaged to a beautiful contortionist-until she broke it off.
The sweet young thing was telling her mother about the great time she had at the mountain resort: "I met a man in the recreation hall and we played Ping-Pong all afternoon. What fun, Mother!"
"Why, dear," remarked the mother, "I never knew you enjoyed Ping-Pong."
"I do now," the daughter said. "I'd hit the ball the wrong way and we'd both go after it under the table. Then he'd hit the ball the wrong way and we'd both go after it under the table. We played all afternoon. It was wonderful."
"But I don't understand," said the mother. "Where does the fun come in?"
"Under the table, silly."
With their wedding date finally set, the bride-to-be snuggled up to her fiance and said, "Darling, I want to make love before we get married."
"But it won't be long until July, dear," he replied.
"Oh," she exclaimed enthusiastically. "And how long will it be then?"
I went golfing with Scott yesterday," the attractive student told her sorority sister.
"Does he use the woods well?" asked her friend.
"I really don't know," sighed the first girl. "He insisted on playing golf all day."
While attending an engagement party given by his friends, the young fellow boasted of his past sexual exploits. "You know," he declared, looking over the assembled guests, "I've slept with every girl here, with the exception of my sister and my fiancee."
"That's interesting," his friend responded dryly. "Between the two of us, we've had them all."
The young man relaxed on the bed, enjoying a cigarette; his girl friend lay beside him, lost in thought.
"Darling," she said unexpectedly, as girls are wont to do, "let's get married."
The young man took a long drag on his cigarette and without turning said, "Dearest, who would have us?"
I'm going to have a little one," Said the girl, so gay and frisky. And the boyfriend up and fainted (Then she told him she meant whiskey).
The young man had invited his fiancee to meet his parents over cocktails at the Plaza. After his family had departed, the girl wanted to know whether she had made the proper impression on them.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, dearest," the fellow said, "but while you were in the ladies' room, my mother told me that she considered you rather uncouth."
"Did you tell them that I attended Bennington and Mt. Holyoke?" she asked in surprise.
"Yes, dearest."
"Did you remind them that my family enjoys a particularly high standing in Bar Harbor?"
"Yes, I did."
"And I hope you told them of my considerable interest in the arts."
"Of course," said the young man.
"Then what's this' uncouth' crap all about?" she asked.