Dealer Jokes / Recent Jokes
What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "CAR"? LIST PRICING A COWA farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. Oneday, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming overto purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows: BASIC COW.................................................$499. 9Shipping and handling....................................... 35. 75Extra Stomach................................................. 79. 25Two Tone Exterior.......................................... 142. 10Produce Storage Compartment....................... 126. 50Heavy Duty Straw Chopper............................. 189. 60Four Spigot/High Output Drain System............. 149. 20Automatic Fly Swatter....................................... 88. 50Genuine Cowhide Upholstery........................... 179. 90Deluxe Dual Horns............................................ 59. 25Automatic Fertilizer more...
A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?"
The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes."
"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me."
"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight."
In the rural south, occasionally you will find an older gentleman who still uses a mule to make a garden.
Until he was 72, my father used one and contended that if you knew what you were doing with a good mule, you never needed a hoe for the grass.
Well, there was this old man who had been using a mule for years and it finally died on him. Seeing as he really needed a large garden to hold down food costs, he made a trip to see the mule dealer.
Admittedly, they are rare, but they still exist.
At the dealer's place he was surprised at how much prices for mules had increased in the last 20 years - mules live a long time.
After examining the available stock and the leanness of his wallet (he only had $125), he concluded he would have to settle for a mule almost as old as himself.
After extensive haggling with the dealer, they settled on a price, the old man made arrangements to return the next day with a horse trailer to pick up his purchase, and the dealer more...
What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "CAR"?
LIST PRICING A COW
A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One
day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over
to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:
BASIC COW... $499.9
Shipping and handling... 35.75
Extra Stomach... 79.25
Two Tone Exterior... 142.10
Produce Storage Compartment... 126.50
Heavy Duty Straw Chopper... 189.60
Four Spigot/High Output Drain System... 149.20
Automatic Fly Swatter... 88.50
Genuine Cowhide Upholstery... 179.90
Deluxe Dual Horns... 59.25
Automatic Fertilizer Attachment... 339.40
4X4 Traction Drive Assembly... 884.16
Pre-delivery Wash and Comb... 69.80
______________________________________________
FARMER'S SUGGESTED LIST PRICE:... $2,843.3
Additional Dealer Adjustments:... 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE more...
What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "CAR"? LIST PRICING A COWA farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. Oneday, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming overto purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:BASIC COW... $499.9Shipping and handling... 35.75Extra Stomach... 79.25Two Tone Exterior... 142.10Produce Storage Compartment... 126.50Heavy Duty Straw Chopper... 189.60Four Spigot/High Output Drain System... 149.20Automatic Fly Swatter... 88.50Genuine Cowhide Upholstery... 179.90Deluxe Dual Horns... 59.25Automatic Fertilizer Attachment... 339.404X4 Traction Drive Assembly... 884.16Pre-delivery Wash and Comb... 69.80______________________________________________FARMER'S SUGGESTED LIST PRICE:... $2,843.3Additional Dealer Adjustments:... 300.00TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including Options)... $3,143.36
One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said, "Why not put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Good thinking. Thanks," the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking, he met a lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1725 Willoughby Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1835 Willoughby Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The lady replied, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, more...
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"