Definition Jokes / Recent Jokes
What's the definition of a quarter tone? A harpist tuning unison strings.
Q: What is the definition of a major seventh? A: A violist playing octaves.
DESS pour Femmes modernes
Une formation inedite assuree conjointement par les departements de sociologie et de psychologie de l'Universite Paris 2
Une opportunite a saisir: developper la fonction cerebrale chez la femme moderne
* Objectif pedagogique du diplome:
initier les femmes a une experience fascinante comme l'usage du cerveau.
* Conditions requises d'admission:
l'existence d'un tuteur de sexe masculin sous le regime de la communaute
sans lequel les enseignements perdent toute efficacite pedagogique.
Elle est necessaire a la bonne assimilation des connaissances acquises.
* Duree:
Brunes: 1 mois et demi par module d'enseignement
Rousses: 3 mois par module d'enseignement
Blondes: 6 mois par module (possibilite de formation continue)
* Programme:
L'enseignement est reparti en 4 modules.
MODULE 1: Vouloir utiliser son cerveau
1. Accepter son propre destin: vous etes nee femme.
2. Connaitre son habitat more...
An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.
Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.
Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.
Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What`s the range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you`ve got a good arm!
Q: What`s a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn`t.
Q: What`s the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
Q: What`s the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.
Q: What`s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.
Q: What`s the difference between an accordion and a concertina?
A: The more...
This conversation took place between Mr. Kens Tar and his son Klin Ton.
Dad
Son, come in here, we need to talk.
Son
What's up, Dad?
Dad
There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?
Son
I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car", that I can say,
truthfully, that I scratched the car.
Dad
Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, And no one else has driven it
since. How can you explain the scratch?
Son
Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I
did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.
Dad
But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of
the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive
away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the more...
Somewhere in America, next week... Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk. Son: What's up, Dad? Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car", that I can say, truthfully, that I did not scratch the car. Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Son: Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it. Dad: But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car? Son: Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" more...
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What`s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We`re still trying to find out too.
Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock
Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. What`s the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.
Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of more...