Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.
They each brought one item for survival.
The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, "Why?" The red-head
replied, "To prevent us from dying of thirst."
The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, "Why?" The brunette
replied, "To prevent us from dying of hunger."
The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked,
"Why?" The blonde replied, "To roll down the window if it gets hot."

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.They each brought one item for survival.The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, "Why?" The red-headreplied, "To prevent us from dying of thirst."The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, "Why?" The brunettereplied, "To prevent us from dying of hunger."The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked,"Why?" The blonde replied, "To roll down the window if it gets hot."

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you." Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette. Man: "Oh thank you so much!" Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?" Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink. Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!" Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?" Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.

A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"

The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.

A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.

As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to more...

16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get more...

An Irishman, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, “Hi there…what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert? ”
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that’s why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. “What are you doing? ” asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and more...

There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave.

He stopped and hollered into the cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until he heard the answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave.

The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something.

"No", said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.

Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! more...