Detective Jokes / Recent Jokes

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast. ”

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions."Was he tall or was he short?"The businessman replies, "Both!"

Q: Who is the most famous cat detective?
A: Purrlock Holmes.

A Sardar On An Interview 4 Da Post Detective.
Interviewer: Who Killed Gandhi?
Sardar: Thank U Sir 4 Giving Me D Job, I Will Start Investigating.......

A small clothing shop had been burglarized and a detective was questioning the blonde owner about how much she had lost.
"It's pretty bad," she said, "but not as bad as it could have been had he robbed me yesterday."
"Why would you say that?" the detective asked.
"Because everything was on sale today," the blonde explained.

The Greatest Detective Stories Ever Told by Watts E. Dunn

A wealthy chinaman suspected his wife of being unfaithful to him and hired a prominent chinese detective to watch his wife; the following is his report:
DETECTIVE'S REPORT
You leave house
I watch house
Man come to house
Man ring door bell
Wife open door
Man go in house
Man and your wife leave house
They go railroad station
I go railroad station
They go on train
I go on train
They get off train
I get off train
They go to hotel
I go to hotel
They go inside
I no go inside
I climb tree outside window
He undress she
She undress he
He play with she
She play with he
I play with me
I fall out of tree
I no see