Detective Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton was very angry with Mahathir's sudden charges against Anwar, so he demanded that they (Mahathir and Anwar) come to the pentagon to explain themselves before the UN. At that time it was snowing, and Mahathir's wife had never seen snow before, so she asked him to let her come along too. Mahathir insisted that she didn't, but she was so earnest that Mahathir only agreed to it if she would spend a night with him in bed.
The next day, three of them left for Washington DC. After a heated discussion with the delegates, Mahathir stepped out into the snow, only to smell the smell of human urine somewhere in the distance. He found the source, and was shocked to find it was from words written in pee in the snow, saying' Mahathir is a dickhead' He was outraged and demanded that experts from the US immediately analyze the samples to determine the anti-Mahathir person. Before long, the samples came back.
'Mr Mahathir,' a detective said,' We have good news and bad news for more...

A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them strolling arm in arm and laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw them take part in a dozen activities with utter glee. "I just can't believe this," said the distraught husband. "What's not to believe?" the detective said. "It's right up there on the screen!" "I simply can't believe my wife could be so much fun!" the husband replied.

A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it.
Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them strolling arm in arm and laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw them take part in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," said the distraught husband.
"What's not to believe?" the detective said. "It's right up there on the screen!"
"I simply can't believe my wife could be so much fun!" the husband replied.

These three blondes were taking a test to see if they were qualified to be detectives. The lead detective went to the first blonde and showed her a picture and said how would you identify this man to the police? She goes oh thats easy he's only got one eye. The detective looks at her and says that it's a side profile and then went on to the next blonde. Asked her the same question, she goes oh thats easy he's only got one ear! The detective now getting irritated goes on to the third blonde. Asks her the same question, she thinks a while then says oh thats easy he wears contacts. The detective looks suprised checks his records and comes back and says your right how did you know that. The blonde looks and him and says well he cant wear glasses because he's only got one eye and one ear!

A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get. Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all the evidence he needs. They make an appointment for a meeting. The two of them are sitting there watching the videos. The man sees his wife meeting another man, then the two of them are walking in the park laughing. Another series shows her with a different man laughing and dancing. All together, he watches a dozen or so different activities, each with a different man, each time both she and the man are sharing obvious utter glee. "Amazing," said the shocked husband, "simply amazing! I just can't believe it." "What can't you believe? " asked the detective, "It's all right there for you to see, plus I have all the times and dates in my log." "I know, I more...

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop.
A few days later he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. I watch house. He comes to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree - look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip her. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with ME. Fall out of tree, not see.
NO FEE.

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
fall out of tree, not see.
... NO FEE